Man Claims He Has a Tight Butthole During DUI Arrest

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The following is told from the perspective of the responding officer. All information is from the corresponding police affidavit.

 

 

“On Monday, March 25th 2019, I observed a black Mustang bearing a FL tag of JHWE57 heading west bound on SR 50 with a modified muffler that I could hear for approximately 300 yards away. While trying to catch up to the vehicle, I observed the vehicle multiple times revving its engine while heading east of SR 50. I caught up to the vehicle and was able to pace it with my speed calibrated patrol vehicle at 75mph in a posted 50mph zone. I conducted a traffic stop on the vehicle for loud exhaust and excessive high and unsafe speed.”

 

“I approached the driver door of the vehicle and made contact with Matthew Luken, identified by his Florida driver’s license. As I approached the vehicle, Matthew had both hand out the driver window smoking a cigarette. I introduced myself as a Clermont police officer and the reason why I pulled him over. I could detect an alcoholic beverage emitting from Matthew while he talked. I asked Matthew where he was heading to in such a rush which he responded “his dad’s house.” I asked Matthew where he was coming from and he replied “the Crown Lounge.” As the odor of the alcoholic beverage got stronger, I asked Matthew if he had any drinks at the Crown Lounge which he replied he had 4-6 drinks. I observed Matthew sweating from his face and arms. Matthew was slurring his words as he spoke and had a hard time putting multiple words together to make a sentence. I observed Matthew’s eyes to be glazed over and bloodshot red.”

 

“I asked Matthew to exit the vehicle and requested him to perform the Standardized Field Sobriety Exercise. While standing by his vehicle, I observed Matthew to be swaying forward and backward as he tried to answer questions. The odor of an alcoholic beverage grew stronger after Matthew exited the vehicle. Matthew refused to do the SFSE’s. I explained with his refusal, that I would have to go by my own observations from up to that point. Matthew hesitated a little bit but refused again. Based on my observations, I determined that Matthew was significantly impaired and was placed under arrest for DUI.”

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“Matthew was transported to the Lake County Jail without incident where he agreed to submit a breath test. Ofc. Calhoun #5 from Astatula PD administered the breath test. Matthew provided a BrAC of .241 at 0334 hours and a BrAC of .255 at 0337 hours.”

 

“On the way to jail, Matthew asked multiple times where I was taking him, after telling him he was going to jail. Matthew was quiet for about 15 minutes and started laughing for no reason. I asked why he was laughing and he stated that his butt hole is tight. Not knowing if I heard him correctly, I asked him again. Matthew stated the same answer.”

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